What I Read: October 2023

What do you read when grief smacks into you?

Scott starts a new job next week. To use up some vacation time at his old job, he used two weeks in October, the first time he’s been off that long in 17+ years other than when we welcomed home babies from the hospital (which were decidedly not vacations). I was looking forward to a pause, a time to bask in the glory that is October in Wisconsin, the chance for some family adventures. Instead, my car broke down in the grocery store parking lot. We’ve been sick. We went to the doctor three times in eight days. We’ve attended a funeral, tried to walk alongside friends facing an unspeakable loss. It is an understatement to say that we did not expect our time off to look like this. We are tired and crabby and sad and not at all rejuvenated.

I’m trying to look on the bright side of all of this, to practice the gratitude that I know will help me find hope again. A friend with a minivan was willing to leave her house on a moment’s notice — and at nap time, even! — to rescue us from the grocery store. We are sick, but we’ve been able to see the doctor and get the meds we need to get better. We have the opportunity to model for our children what showing up for friends looks like in the worst of situations. We have asked for help and received it; we have offered it where we can, even when it feels inadequate.

I’ve been working through the New Testament in my Bible reading plan, dipping in and out of each of the Gospels in chronological order. I marvel at Jesus and his ability to put one foot in front of the other, to repeat himself, to answer the same questions over and over. He performs the small miracles captured in the pages I read, when I know in my heart he would rather call down a host of angels and wipe suffering from the earth. Jesus knows what’s going to happen, and does the quiet work anyway. Or maybe he does the quiet work because he knows what’s going to happen.

It’s hard to know what to read when the hard things pile up like this. I do know that I *need* to read when life gets hard; reading is often what makes me “me.” So I keep doing the quiet, inadequate work. I keep reading. And I’m trying to trust that joy will feel bigger than a crumb again in time.

---

Here’s What I Read in October:

The Homewreckers: A Novel

by Mary Kay Andrews

I wanted to like this book. The premise is solid: attractive young widow who restores old houses needs a win after a construction project doesn’t pan out. Attractive TV exec happens to offer her a can’t-miss opportunity to turn her next construction project into a hit show. There’s tight deadlines and a 20-year old murder mystery to solve along the way. And yet… the writing was clunky enough that I found it unenjoyable. I’m all for a cheesy rom-com set against a backdrop of over-the-top plot twists, but this one just did not hit the spot.

Goodreads | Bookshop | Libro.FM

The Book Club Hotel: A Novel

by Sarah Morgan

I goofed up on my library holds and accidentally had a Christmas novel become available in early October, so what I was hoping would be an atmospheric read for a snowy December afternoon turned out to be a 70-degree fall read instead. But my loss is your gain, because you can request this one to read in December and be delighted at how well it pairs with cocoa and Christmas lights! Three 40-something friends meet each year at a hotel for a week-long book club. This year, the least romantically-minded of the bunch picks a hotel straight out of a Hallmark movie, and the other two can’t sort out why. The reason soon becomes clear on arrival, but chaos at the hotel ensues and the three friends are (of course!) the perfect people to help sort out the situation, making friends and discovering who they really are in the process. Is it cheesy? Yes. Does it have over-the-top plot lines? Yes. Can you basically predict much of it by the time you’re done reading Chapter 5? Also, yes. But that’s just what you need once in awhile, and even better if it’s got an atmospheric setting to boot.

Goodreads | Bookshop | Libro.FM

Under the Henfluence: Inside the World of Backyard Chickens and the People Who Love Them

by Tove Danovich

I had no idea I’d laugh so loud at a book about raising chickens. Danovich clearly loves her own flock, but is enough of a clear-eyed journalist to bring readers the full story of what the chicken industry looks like. Danovich discusses the ways trends in backyard chickens affect the farms hatching and shipping those chicks to consumers, how commercial egg-laying and the practices that come with it have altered generations of chickens and their mannerisms, and how little we really know about a species that is so wide-spread across the globe. The book highlights how smart and amazing chickens are, if we let them be chickens and take the time to learn from them. I walked away from this book standing firm in my decision not to raise chickens myself, but grateful that we have access to local eggs and pasture-raised meat chickens where we live, if we are willing to pay a higher cost so that the chickens don’t have to pay it for us.

Goodreads | Bookshop | Libro.FM

The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart about Money

by Ron Leiber

Scott and I have grown increasingly frustrated at how destructive our children can be (especially as we approach the holidays in which we are supposed to buy them gifts, but struggle to choose something we know is likely to be used incorrectly by a curious 3 and 6yo). We know they’re not necessarily being naughty when they break something or treat it roughly, but we’ve been struggling to figure out a way to instill in them that everything has a cost, there’s a finite amount of resources available to us as your parents, and that treating things like toys, clothes, and even our house and furniture kindly will save us money and frustration in the long run. One thing we’ve tried to do is talk about how things cost money, that we only have so much money to spend, and that we can’t just but new things when we break the ones we have. This book by a NYT finance columnist dives into teaching kids how money works from a young age with a simple Give-Save-Spend allowance. It’s easy to read and enjoyable, and spent far more time talking about charitable giving than I anticipated — a happy accident, since the stories Leiber shares are worth reading. I’ve got two chapters left, but I’m putting this in October’s round-up since I think it’s worth reading ahead of the holiday gifting binge (gauntlet?!) we’re all about to walk through.

Goodreads | Bookshop | Libro.fm

I’m on the hold list for The Unfortunate Side Effects of Heartbreak and Magic, and was hoping to read it in October… but it hasn’t come in yet. I think I’ll pause my hold until next September, in hopes I can read it for next Halloween season!

---

What I’m Reading with the Kids:

We loved this book about why leaves change colors: Summer Green to Autumn Gold, and this one about a squirrel who thinks someone is stealing all his leaves. And here’s a running list of all our autumn favorites.

We have paused our reading of The Vanderbeekers Ever After because it’s sadder than I expected and I cannot handle that right now. Instead, we’re diving into Charlotte’s Web, one of the books we’re reading for first grade this year. We’re also reading James Herriot’s Treasury for Children, a delightful collection of stories and illustrations from the well-known English veterinarian and author. We’ve been listening to the Frog and Toad Audio Collection, and need to check some of the books out to listen-and-read along.

In case you need some non-toy ideas for gifting, my kids heartily recommend Highlights High Five Magazine (they read them over and over and over…) and ASK from Cricket Media, one focused on science. Tennyson is also getting a kick out of Ranger Rick Jr., but I think if we end up renewing it, we’ll switch to the older version for a more full issue — the Jr. one feels a bit sparse, in my opinion.

---

What I’m Reading Next:

I’m feeling the urge to re-read Andy Crouch’s The Life We’re Looking For (full review in this newsletter). And I always want something food-related in November. Past faves have included books like Kitchens of the Great Midwest, Bread & Wine, and Eat Joy. Any good food-adjacent recommendations for me?

What are you reading right now? Share them in the comments!